When you think about your dog’s behavior—whether they’re barking, jumping, chewing, or even just being a little extra clingy—it’s easy to label it as “good” or “bad.” But what if we saw their actions in a different light? What if, instead of focusing on what they’re doing, we asked ourselves *why* they’re doing it?
Here’s the truth: most of what your dog does is about one simple thing—seeking relief. Relief from stress, relief from fear, relief from excitement, or even relief from boredom. That one word, “relief,” is the key to understanding them better.
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Behavior is a Message
Think of your dog’s behavior as their way of communicating. They can’t say, “I’m feeling overwhelmed right now,” or “I’m excited but also a little nervous!” Instead, they show you through their actions. Maybe they bark at the door when someone knocks because they’re uncertain about what’s happening. Or they jump up on guests because they’re overstimulated and looking for a way to cope.
These behaviors aren’t just random—they’re your dog’s way of saying, “This is how I’m feeling.” And usually, they’re trying to feel better, to find that sense of relief.
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Why Punishment Doesn’t Work
Now, you might be thinking, “But I can teach my dog not to bark or jump, right?” Sure, you can teach them new behaviors. But here’s the catch—if you only focus on stopping the behavior without understanding what’s driving it, you’re not actually helping your dog. You’re just putting a lid on the pot without turning down the heat.
Punishing a dog for barking or jumping might make them stop in the moment, but it doesn’t address the feelings underneath. Those feelings—stress, fear, or overexcitement—are still there, bubbling away. And if they don’t find relief, those emotions can spill out in other ways, like new unwanted behaviors.
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What Your Dog Really Needs
Instead of trying to “fix” your dog’s actions, start by asking, “What’s my dog feeling? What do they need right now to feel relief?” Maybe they need some space from overwhelming situations. Maybe they need a safe way to burn off energy. Or maybe they just need a moment to process what’s happening around them.
For example, if your dog jumps on guests because they’re excited, the answer isn’t just teaching them to sit instead. It’s about helping them feel calm and comfortable when visitors arrive, so they don’t feel the need to jump in the first place. Relief isn’t about covering up a behavior—it’s about easing the emotions behind it.
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Relief is Everything
The idea of relief isn’t just a training tip—it’s a way to build a deeper, more compassionate relationship with your dog. When you understand that their actions are often about seeking relief, it changes the way you see them. You stop focusing on “good” or “bad” behavior and start seeing a loving companion who’s doing their best to navigate the world.
So next time your dog acts out, take a breath. Look at their behavior as a message, not a problem. Ask yourself, “What relief are they looking for?” You’ll find that when you meet their emotional needs, those challenging behaviors often melt away.
Relief—it’s not just the answer to understanding this article. It’s the key to understanding your dog.
References:
This article was inspired by the blog post Phantom of the Operant: Recognising the Emotional Drive to Behaviour from Dog Centred Care, written by Andrew Hale in January 2020. The original article dives into the importance of understanding dogs’ behaviors as emotionally driven, emphasizing their need for relief. It challenges traditional training models by encouraging empathy and a focus on the emotional well-being of dogs. You can read the full post here: Dog Centred Care – Phantom of the Operant.”